Manage Your Freelance Writing Career While Writing What You Love
There are many writing-related cartoons that make me laugh. And not because they are hilarious or tragicomic, but they also have a level of truth to them – OK, sometimes the truth level is scarily high:))
I hope you can all enjoy the cartoons below. I’m planning to make this list a series, collecting the funny stuff whenever I see it.
Enjoy!
I usually start my day by playing games, checking e-mails and reading my Facebook messages. Don’t frown- it is only while I am eating my breakfast. It might not be the most productive thing to do, but it is a fun, easy way to start the day.
But today I started my day by reading Wayne E. Pollard’s (Bo’s Café Life)’s A Kilo of Chocolate Sprinkles and…well, I don’t remember starting a day with that many laughs. Hey, the e-book was over before my breakfast. Hell, my breakfast isn’t still over because I couldn’t wait to write the book’s review.
While Wayne is famous for his hilarious take on the writing life and his no-B.S. tips for writers, I found that the e-book can be enjoyed by writers as much as the non-writers. There are two-three chapters that will probably be enjoyed more by the writers, and a chapter that will probably make women laugh a lot harder.
But as a whole, if you have been alive for a couple of decades (yes, 20s count!-I’m 27) , I’m pretty sure you will have a good laugh. And even the bits that don’t make you laugh out loud will probably cause a huge grin.
The book is only 23 pages so I won’t give away a lot, but you need to have a clue for what’s ahead so let’s roll:
(yes, this is the chapter women will like more.)
According to Wayne, inspired by a dog-training book he read, husbands can be (and should be) trained, house or otherwise. He gives wonderfully useful tips on what to teach them, as well as when and how. And you can’t blame him for being sexist or anything. He is A GUY (the name Wayne probably gave it away) and he is Married.
And even if you aren’t married, many of the tips do count for a boyfriend – live-in-or not. After all, the earlier you train them, the faster they will learn and make your relationship a lot less annoying.
The best part of this article is that it is multi-functional. You can use it for dogs without having to buy the actual dog training book. Or just read it to your mother and make her day. She regrets not having applied some of the tips 3 decades ago.
Ah… the good old days when my metabolism was so fast that it burned all the chips and chocolate I devoured without causing me any weight gain or cellulite. Unfortunately the last healthy, flat-stomached photo I have is from when I was 16.
Oh, of course my metabolism is a tad faster than his, and I am not overweight or anything. I also have the advantage of being tall and the opposite of being flat-chested, so I can hide the extra weight with some clever tactics. But of course they work in winter, not during the bikini season.
My point, going on to prove his, is that your metabolism slows down with age – considerably. Of course some of the husband training tips must be used on your metabolism. Train it earlier, so that you won’t find yourself trying to lose 9 pounds before meeting some old friends in a month
Of course Wayne gives some really good tips on what to avoid. Just take those in, and not just the funny truth.
OK. Moving on.
Now, this will appeal more to writers, as when you say café, ( freelance) writers
visualize coffee and their writing gear simultaneously. Cafés are the perfect offices for writers. I even sold an article on this very topic. Talk about writing what you know!
The point is, the non-writer group, if they are not freelancers, they don’t really get the café love. When I mention a friend that I work at a certain café, they immediately assume I’m a barista. Not that there is anything wrong with being a barista. But it just goes to show that to others, working at a café can only mean one thing.
I have a hard time explaining why I refuse to spend money on the cocktails I love but splurge on the coffee and food while I write at a café. For one thing, I have to show something for all the hours I spend there (though some café’s staff adopted me and wouldn’t mind whether I drink just one cup of coffee for the entire day. Some invented a discount just for me!). Not that I could survive on one cup anyway.
Another thing is that it is still cheaper than renting my own office and more varied and less isolated. And it is cosy and fun. Shock, shock – I also sold an article on how to choose the perfect coffee shop.
Needless to say, Wayne enjoyed and related to those, just like his piece something like I’d have written – only it is funnier.
Yep, this is the second article that will make writers laugh harder. But any avid reader with a clue about what the hell is going on with the social media, will enjoy it immensely too. Imagine Charles Dickens still living today (would be cool if he was actually immortal and not just his works.) and what his editor would be asking him to do.
Then read the article. Who needs a joke when you can have this dialogue?
Third article that will go along way with writers on media tours. But then again, tips can be applied to any job because let’s face it, it is usually all about showing your USP (unique selling point) and going an extra mile. Although I2m betting that you will be surprised by “this” extra mile.
Oh and he has great tips on how to give interviews, radio or otherwise. Again, applicable to interviews with any professional.
And finally comes the chapter the book is named after… Here, Wayne admits to his ice-cream addiction in his own honest and entertaining way.
Of course not everybody has an ice-cream addiction, but a lot of us have addictions. Mine is chocolate (OK, the food one is chocolate. The others are movies and music, though they are usually more beneficial to my career and life in general.)
Just substitute the word ice-cream with your addiction, and it will hit right home. Of course since it is July, many of you will find the ice-cream addiction spot-on and relatable. I know I do.
And surely I can’t be the only one whose mouth watered by the title? It is not a coincidence that Chocolat is one of my favorite movies. And it having a Johnny Depp romance in it is just a perk. Although after the movie, we did debate among female friends: Chocolate or Johnny Depp? In the end we opted for the easy way out. Johnny Depp with chocolate. I have never been fond of compromising anyway.; )
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So grab the book on Amazon for just 0.99, and make your day. And do share this gem with the non-writers. They need humor too, even though they do often think that we are from another planet…
I’m a writer. When I tell people that, I get one of these two responses “Wow! It’s so cool!” or “Hmm. Can you make a living out of that?”
And as much as I want to say “Oh, totally!”, I am not there yet. My income comes from a combination of freelance tutoring, teaching, blogging and writing. While I love doing all these things together, I want to be able to say “That book deal changed my life (=aka my finances)!” or “Eat your heart Carrie Bradshaw, I write about relationships for a living, and I have got more than a closet full of expensive shoes to show for it!”
But as I said, I am not there yet. The tasks of a freelance writer never ends (just like a blogger’s never ends, but that’s a different post). I still have to finish that book that I was inspired to write in 2004. I still have tons of publications to study and pitch to. I still have a lot of new markets to discover, study and yes, pitch to. Then I have to keep writing my book, keep up the blogs, follow-up with the queries and deal with rejection, or worse – no answers from editors.
So I need other freelancers to understand me, who have been or are still are where I am. I want to laugh with them, maybe get depressed temporarily and then move on with them. And while networking with others help, I don’t have a freelance writer friend who l can talk to whenever I feel like it.
And since none of my friends are willing to jump the 9 to 5 wagon to join me, I found the perfect substitute. Wayne E. Pollard’s “I’m Not Out of Work!, I’m a Writer” is a collection of Pollard’s Bo’s Café Life strips where he simply and hilariously depicts the life of a freelancer, complete with other freelancer friends and their meetings in coffee shops.
Bo and all his friends are appropriately represented by drawings of coffee cups. As a freelance writer who does most (and best) of her work in cafés, and who is also (shockingly!) writing this review with a cup of coffee nearby, the collection couldn’t have been more spot on.
I first stumbled upon Bo’s Café Life when I was trying to find funny, writing-related cartoons for this blog. I loved the cartoons so much that I e-mailed him to ask if I could use them on my blog, linking to his blog. He kindly said yes, and even sent me the copy of the book, which I finished in about 20 minutes and went back to read it again. Yes, it is funny and very relevant.
It is so easy to identify with his coffee-cup characters. The multiple rejections, never summoning up the courage to send/finish some of your stuff, consoling yourself with the rejection numbers of currently famous authors, almost living in cafés…
There are so many books on motivation and productivity out there. And while I enjoy reading the good ones, sometimes I need a fast boost in the spirits and I don’t have time to read (or the strength to carry) all the necessary motivational stuff with me. And thankfully, I just have them all in one tiny book now.
It’s recommended for all writers. Except maybe not for the likes of John Grisham. I mean the dude is my favorite crime writer, but he doesn’t need it anymore. I’m sure he did need it when he was trying to get A Time to Kill published and got rejected over and over again….Ah…remember the times when John Grisham was unknown and Hollywood didn’t turn one of his books into a movie every couple of years?
Wayne E. Pollard is a published author, who shares his wisdom on Bo’s Café Life and Wayne E. Pollard’s No B.S. Blog for Writers.
“I’m Not Out of Work!, I’m a Writer!!” will be hitting the shelves at the end of September. If you can’t wait, and are up for a challenge, you can join Bo’s Café Life Fiction Contest. Details are here. But be quick. The deadline is August 31!
