how to deal with rejection Archives

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As I’m writing this post, it is 3.45 pm, and it’s snowing heavily outside. Power is out for the second time, and I’m just glad we live on the sixth floor of a seven-storey apartment. (My intolerance of heights disappears when there are floods everywhere, and I’m just glad we are safe, warm and dry.)

2016 has been a weird year, to say the least. I’ve had personal and professional ups and downs, as well as financial ones. I’m not going to talk about what a terrible year it has been on a global scale. We all know what happened. News and social media feeds and friends’ updates, and even our favorite cartoons, constantly reminded us that the world had become even more dangerous than many of us knew.

Best of 2016 for This Writer

Let’s not mock anyone who feels 2016 has been the worst year ever. If they live in a country where terrorism attacks have increased, it might truly be the worst year ever.

Now that we acknowledged that, below are some of my highlights:

I finally decided on the theme and launch date of my travel blog.
I was published on The Washington Post’s Solo-ish blog.
I took some great courses on advancing my writing and my writing career.
I started to stick to some of my earlier resolutions.
I read some great books.
I’ve made some important decisions to make 2017 different in a terrific way.
I was active on some amazing FB groups, made great connections and friends.
I started cold-pitching.
I responded to calls for submissions, meaning I wrote according to a given theme and sold two articles in this vein.

Some of My Favorite Movies of the Year:

The Girl on the Train starring Emily Blunt and Justin Theroux.
Hacksaw Ridge starring Andrew Garfield.
Allied starring Brad Pitt and Marion Cotillard.

Favorite Novels

The Girl on the Train (My review on the blog.)
Behind Closed Doors (My review on the blog.)

Favorite Series (That Premiered in 2016)

This is Us
Bull
Good Behavior (My review on my entertainment blog.)
Designated Survivor

Plans and Goals for 2017

Train my Dragon Dictate: Apparently, there is a book on it. My hands hurt, but typing has always been my favorite method of getting my point across and recording those points.
Move, move, move! I plan on getting a gym membership or taking regular dance classes again. I’m particularly interested in zumba.
Travel, travel, travel. I haven’t been aboard since 2015, and I’m itching.
Pitch, pitch, pitch! This goes for both fiction and non-fiction. Gina Horkey’s 90 Day Pitching Challenge was an awesome prompt in the right direction, but I still have some organizing to do. I haven’t been able to keep up with the 10 pitches-a-day goal. I fully plan to this year.
Eat more healthily. If I can’t eat perfectly healthily, I will at least add healthy stuff to make the relatively less healthy better. For instance, to keep my blood sugar level in check, I’ll have some nuts with your dark chocolate. Advice borrowed from one of my country’s top nutritionists.
Launch my first e-book on productivity.
Take on more coaching work
Respond the more submission calls.
When you are taking a course, actually apply the sound advice.

2016’s Top Posts on the Blog

Bad Traits for Characters: From Mildly Annoying to Deal-Breaker, From This Makes for a Fine Villain to Let’s Put This Person to Jail Forever. Sometimes, it is harder to “corrupt” our darling characters than killing them. Do your characters need an extra flaw or to make them more human? Read this post for a through list. I also wrote part 2.

How Not To Pitch An Editor: Be Vague and Impatient. Pitching is our bread and butter. Whether you’re looking to guest post, apply for a staff writing job or pitching ideas, you need to know your pitching etiquette. I offer two of the most important things to avoid with real life examples.

Life is Too Short, David Bowie is Dead, and Why You Should Make 2016 Your Best One Yet. More than a tribute post, this is a post that celebrates life and the living while paying respects to our idols and favorite pop culture influences.

How to Handle The Negativity Toward Your Writing No Matter The Source. Whether it’s a tough-loving editor, a bitter client or yourself, you need to be able to handle negativity and rejection. This post shows you how.

This Writer Is Getting Smarter About Money: And How You Can Too. A post on knowing how to manage your finances, including setting goals for our dream life, knowing where our money goes and how to make more.

A Love Letter to All Freelancers With a Health Condition. Are you a freelancer writer whose productivity takes a huge blow due to health problems? You’re not alone. Read on for motivation, inspiration and support.

The Incredible Productivity of Stolen Moments. Will you do better work when you feel like you’re cheating on what needs to be done with your writing? You just might.

Starting All Over Again: Rejection and Planning Again. Based on how I got stung by and got back up after being rejected by the University of British Colombia, this is a post on life after big rejections.

That is it. What about you? What are your favorite moments of 2016? What are your goals and plans for 2017? Let me know in the comments!

rejection — Image via freelanceswitch.com

No, I haven’t gone all psycho or masochistic on you. Obviously you don’t want to get rejected. You don’t write to get rejected. At least I hope you don’t.

But when you are a writer, in addition to death and taxes, you can also count on being rejected. It just comes with the territory.

However not all rejections carry the same value, and they definitely don’t have the same effect.

Now, I think we can agree on the types of rejection that suck:

1) The “no-reply” rejection

Days pass. Weeks go by. Nothing from the editor/publisher. Nada.

Did your query get lost in the inbox? Did the editor see it, and file it to check it out later? Did it get in the spam folder? Or it was seen, read and rejected?

There’s no way to know, so you have 2 options: Follow up, or forget.

Frankly, so far I’ve not really gained anything from a follow-up apart from a short thanks-but-no-thanks reply in one case. Other times my short, polite and to-the-point follow-up emails were never returned.

Carol Tice makes a valid point in the post she explains her follow-up strategy: She just doesn’t do it. Because it’s better to move on than spend time chasing one idea.

However sometimes the idea is too good, too timely to miss, so you want to get your reply as soon as possible.

So I appreciate publications that include their response time in their guidelines while advising to pitch elsewhere if you don’t hear from them in that period.

2) The ever-late thanks but no thanks reply

It’s indeed a case of “better late than never”. Because at least you know you have to move on, and you don’t need to waste time following up.

But it’s still a rejection, and it involves no specifics on why your idea wasn’t good enough. And while there’s no obligation on the editor’s part to explain (or frankly any expectation from me to hear the why), it leaves you guessing on what didn’t work.

The idea? The timing? The language? A combination of several factors?

But of course I’ll take this one over no reply any day.

3) The cruel reply.

I haven’t received this, and I’m hoping I won’t. But some horror stories from other writers did let me believe that some people might get too creative in their rejection emails when they detail their reasons. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Attacks aren’t.

Now on the good stuff: 2 Types of Rejection to Love

1) The fast rejection:

Some editors are very quick (as in they reply in a week or two) in responding, whether they like your pitch or not.

Most of the time these fast-answering editors are also writers, and they know (and not just remember) what it is like to be querying.

Of course my initial reaction is disappointment, but soon it’s replaced by genuine gratitude. It feels great knowing that you can move on with the idea.

2) The personalized rejection, preferably with an invitation to pitch again.

I once got rejected by an editor who didn’t find my piece (on spec) lively enough. But she went on to say that she liked my writing in general, even naming a piece that she liked from this blog, and invited me to pitch again. That was the best rejection ever.

I could go back to review what went wrong with my style, and manage not to remake those mistakes again. I also felt flattered and encouraged, as opposed to down and disappointed.

We all get rejected at one point ot another. So it’s just better when we know for sure, and we know why.

Do you have problems dealing with rejection? These posts will help. They might even make you smile:

How to Handle Rejection (and When It Might Be A Good Thing)

How to Manage the Evil Three: Rejection, Depression & Procrastination

A Unique Way of Dealing with Romantic Rejection

2016 in Writing: The Best of This Blog, Year in Review, and Goals for 2017

Best of 2016 for This Writer

Plans and Goals for 2017

2016’s Top Posts on the Blog

2 Types of Rejection You Should Love (or At Least Appreciate)