Romance is in the air!
February is Creative Romance Month, and the 14th is right around the corner. So, I figured we would tackle some popular romance tropes, which also happen to be my favorites.
You’ll see that I hardly ever love any trope unconditionally. As a life-long romance fan and an experienced romance writer, I’m very particular about what I like.
You can check out the romance tropes that I absolutely don’t find romantic, check out this post: The 6 Most Unromantic Romance Tropes in Romance Fiction (And What to Do with Them)
Let’s see if you agree with my favorites and the reasons.
PS This post contains Amazon affiliate links. If you buy something, I will earn a little at no extra cost to you. Since these are my favorite romances, I stand behind my recommendations.
PPS: This post will spoil some book, movie, and TV series moments.
1. Forbidden/ star-crossed
When I say forbidden, I don’t mean cheating. And when I say star-crossed, I don’t mean Titanic, or Romeo and Juliet.
I need the danger/stakes to be more than two angsty, hormonal teenagers. And I need the conflict to be something other than rich vs. poor families. I’m over it.
What’s a proper star-crossed romance that I adore? Why, Alias’ Sydney and Vaughn of course. (You can watch the pilot preview here.)
Alias
Alias (2001-2006) is a kick-ass action/drama series created by J.J. Abrams and starring Jennifer Garner and Michael Vartan. It just might be my favorite series of all time. Well, the first three seasons at least.
It also has one of the best TV romances ever.
I’m going to spoil things a bit, so if you’ve always wanted to watch Alias, this is a good time to do it. Please remember to bookmark this post so you can come back. (Bonus: The series features Bradley Cooper in a very important supporting role.)
Special agent Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner) works for a secret branch of the CIA. But when they kill her fiancé, she realizes that she was working for the enemy all along, and she co-operates with the actual
CIA to bring them down for good. Her CIA handler is Michael Vaughn (Michael Vartan), and their chemistry (physical and emotional) is palpable from the start.
Sydney is now working as a double-agent, unbeknownst to the bad guys. How do the bad guys trust her after the sh**t they pulled? They don’t. They try to kill her at first. But then she brings them something valuable and says she shouldn’t have told her fiancé about her job.
The only person she can fully trust and talk to is her CIA handler Vaughn because he is the only person in her life who knows everything. And as they grow closer, it pains them to know that if they were ever seen together, if the evil agency connects the dots, they will both be killed.
How’s that for stakes? How’s that for internal and external conflict?
Alias is amazing with espionage and action scenes, but the emotions also run high. I strongly recommend it.
And let’s face it, in no other romantic storyline, the man of your dreams will break into the Vatican with you. 🙂
Do hit me up in the comments if this scene made your week back in the day.
2. Forced proximity
This is always a lot of fun. The characters usually can’t stand each other in the beginning, or they just have contradictory goals. But to get what they want/need, they need to stay together, whether be in tight quarters or just hanging around in Europe.
In the movie Chasing Liberty (2004), the first daughter Anna is 18, and she hates that all her moves are monitored and protected.
When she is in Europe with her family, she takes off with attractive stranger Ben (Matthew Goode) who is slightly older than her. Luckily for her father, the attractive stranger is a young CIA operative who promises to keep an eye on her.
Keeping Anna from other men might be easier than staying away from her himself, though…
Chasing Liberty is corny at times. But it has a good heart and offers good fun. Also, like, how do you not melt when Matthew Goode is in a romantic lead?
The Proposal, the hit romcom from 2009 starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds, has editor Margaret propose to her assistant Andrew because she’s Canadian and her visa is about to expire. If Andrew wants to keep his job… well, you get the stakes.
The problem? They absolutely can’t stand each other, though Andrew’s hate is stronger since she is his demanding, workaholic boss. Things get trickier for the duo when they have to keep up the ruse in Alaska, where they visit Andrew’s family. You get the whole package: having to sleep in the same room, accidentally seeing each other naked, enjoying the fake relationship a bit too much toward the end…
The Proposal can also be counted as enemies to lovers, opposites attract, office romance, and fake relationship.
Can You Keep A Secret?
This hilarious, romantic, and sexy romance novel by Sophie Kinsella was also adapted to the big screen in 2019 starring Tyler Hoechlin and Alexandra Daddario.
While theirs is technically an office romance, their meet cute starts on an airplane. Flustered marketing employee Emma finds herself sitting next to handsome stranger Jack. When she thinks the plane is going to crash, she confesses all of her secrets to him: little and big, no matter how embarrassing.
But it’s no biggie, right? They survive and she will never see him again. Except he turns out to be her boss, and he remembers everything. And he will show this with great hilarity.
Emma and Jack’s connection would have never been the same without that plane ride.
3. Neighbors to lovers
Ah, the one’s very close to my heart since my romcom drama novel A Change Would Do You Good has two neighbors, Kevin and Janie falling in love. Oh yes, there are many other characters and tropes in this fun book full of ocean waves. But it is the main one.
Fashion designer Janie gives her life the ultimate makeover and moves to a new apartment. Her downstairs neighbor is a hunky pro-surfer named Kevin. It could be heaven, but she is still grieving over the death of her boyfriend. Kevin has never been in a long-term relationship. Their outlooks on life seem only as “similar” as night and day.
But then again, sparks don’t ask for their permission before they start flying like crazy.
4. Office romance
As you probably noticed, most romances don’t just have one trope, and this makes things more fun. Technically, the romance in Alias is also an office/workplace romance, as well as a friends-to-lovers story.
My novel Making A Difference (M.A.D.) is the ultimate office romance since all the complications arise once star PR expert Jay Clark hires his former student and intern Zoe Ellis to be his business partner.
5. School Romance
High School – 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
For some reason, high school romances are aplenty while I couldn’t think of a college romance that left its mark on me other than Remember Me, so that’s what we will go with next.
When it comes to high school romances, I have many favorites. But after I eliminated the ones with sick characters who die at the end, and I excluded ones who aren’t this funny and fun, I am left with the absolute gem called 10 Things I Hate About You.
Stellar cast, witty Shakespeare adaptation, great soundtrack…And goodness wins! What more do you want?
In the film, high school student Bianca is pissed she is not allowed to date until her feminist, grumpy and rebellious sister Kat (Julia Stiles) does. So, she devises a plan to get Kat a date: She enlists the help of Cameron (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who has a crush on Bianca. Except Bianca wants to date Joey.
Cameron and his new best friend pay Patrick Verona (Heath Ledger), an outsider with a reputation, to take Kat out. But things get super complicated when Patrick genuinely starts to fall for Kat…
College – Remember Me
2010’s Remember Me starring Robert Pattinson and Emilie de Ravin is a sad, passionate movie. At first, we dislike Robert’s character Tyler. He asks out fellow college student Ally, out of spite for her cop dad who arrested him. But on their date, Tyler does fall for Ally. They share a deep connection through a traumatic past and their complicated relationships with their fathers. Watch it, but bring the tissues. This one doesn’t have a happy ending.
6. Haters to lovers/opposites attract (*when they complement each other, learn from each other and realize they are not that different.)
This comes with a huge caveat.
I believe that dating someone who is the opposite of you in every way is a recipe for disaster and the furthest thing from passion.
But some of my favorite romances have the haters to lovers/opposites attract tropes in front and center, so what gives?
You see, I believe you should date someone who has some things in common with you. This doesn’t mean you should date someone who is basically you.
It is great if one of you is more calm and relaxed. It’s lovely if one of you is slightly more organized.
Pride and Prejudice
There is a reason Darcy fell for Elizabeth. And it is not because they are exact opposites. It’s because they are complementary.
On the offset, Darcy and Elizabeth think they couldn’t be any different. Darcy is (or seems) cold, distant, unfriendly, unsocial, snobbish. Elizabeth is fun, social, friendly, and warm.
But as Elizabeth happily and tearfully admits to her dad in the end, she and Darcy are in fact so similar.
They can both be prejudiced and proud. They are both passionate and protective about the people they love. They both struggle with when to roll with societal norms and when to say f*** it and do their own thing.
At their core, they are both sensitive, loyal, blunt, and loving. And that is why they are one of literature’s favorite couples of all time.
7. Bad Boy (who isn’t actually a bad boy)
I have to admit I don’t really like bad boys. Bad boys in fiction I have liked generally are misunderstood and/or misjudged underdogs, or men who have been selling themselves short, even to themselves.
Take Johnny (Patrick Swayze) from Dirty Dancing. Sure, he wears leather and dances for a living, which screams bad boy to parents everywhere.
Sure, he sleeps with guests at the hotel he is working at as a dancer and accepts expensive gifts from them…But even this…I don’t judge him. He makes no promises, and the married folk should be doing the loyalty thing. It’s not Johnny’s responsibility.
But when his best friend needs help in a very tricky situation, he is there. And when he needs to step up for the girl he loves, he does.
So, if you want to give me a bad boy, you better give me someone like Johnny.
7. B. Bad Boy (who gets reformed for good in front of my very eyes!)
What Women Want (2000)
So why is a fantasy romcom film about a man hearing women’s thoughts is listed in bad boys?
Because the protagonist is a complete ass. Well, at least in the beginning.
Advertising wonder boy Nick Marshall (Mel Gibson) is a complete ass. He does whatever it takes you to get you into bed and then probably won’t call. He is also insensitive, clueless, and a failure of a single dad.
But then through a wonderful trick of fate, he starts hearing what any woman thinks, and at first, he believes he hit the jackpot. He can bed more women, faster.
But then as he gets to know women (and particularly his work rival Darcy), he starts to genuinely transform into a better person, lover, friend, and father.
And because Nick grows in every possible way right in front of our eyes, we root for him.
8. Friends to lovers – (*if they didn’t know each other for a long time.)
Again, I come to you with a disclaimer.
Friends to Lovers is an interesting one because it can be a pet peeve of mine or a favorite, just depending on the details.
If the characters have known each other since primary school and only notice each other after being absolute besties like 10,15 or 20 years, it’s a big no from me. Then I feel like they just got bored and took the easy way out.
But if they knew each other for a short time before feelings emerged…and/or if they were instantly attracted to each other but couldn’t pursue romance because of legitimate reasons, then I’m all in it for the comedy and romance.
Lovesick (2014, Netflix series) does this really well. First, I should mention Lovesick is a brilliant and hilarious comedy.
But it is also a romantic comedy because protagonist Dylan (Johnny Flynn) is a total romantic at heart.
When he meets his best friend Luke’s close friend Eve, they make friends at first. Eve is crushing on an artist dude and Dylan is with a German date. But when both their romantic interests fail them, they end up sleeping together. Dylan is more than willing to give this a go, but Evie just wants a one-night stand.
When circumstances bring about a friendship, they roll with it. But repressed feelings will come to bite both of them and ruin future relationships.
9. Holiday Romance
The Holiday (2006, starring Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Jack Black)
OK, that is not my subtlest example, but it is one of the best examples of a holiday romance.
Having had extreme bad luck in their relationships, English Iris (Kate Winslet) and American Amanda (Cameron Diaz) – two strangers – exchange their houses for the upcoming Christmas holiday.
Amanda spends Christmas in a lovely cottage, and Iris gets to enjoy Amanda’s beautiful LA house. Of course, no holiday romance is complete without Mr. Right. Amanda falls in love with Iris’ gorgeous brother Graham (Jude Law), and Amanda’s friend Miles (Jack Black) has a lovely friends-to-lovers romance with Iris.
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Give me the takeaway now!
Yes, this was a long post. And these were only my favorites. There are tons of romance tropes, so listing them with examples takes time.
But there’s really one vital takeaway I want you to take from this post and it’s this:
There are no hard rules that are set in stone.
Mix and match. Experiment to your heart’s fancy.
It definitely helps to know yourself as well as your target audience. But one writer/reader’s favorite can be another’s pet peeve and vice versa.
Hardin from After is the boy of my nightmares: both the book Hardin and the movie Hardin. This is not to say the books aren’t readable. They are super engaging.
But when I read a romance, I should want to be the girl. And I should want the guy.
I don’t want a romantic protagonist to make me say “Just go and never come back.” I shouldn’t want an “unhappy” ending where the heroes of the book don’t get together.
I’m a Darcy girl, you see. Whether it is Mark Darcy or Mr. Darcy, I want my men to be decent. And hot. And the fact that they are decent makes them hotter. You dig?
Wuthering Heights is a great book and a must-see movie…because who can resist Ralph Fiennes when he plays an obsessive lover? But a great movie/book doesn’t a great romance make. Sometimes, they are just highly engaging nightmares and cautionary tales. But some women want their Heathcliff, and we will disagree from here to eternity.
So, write the man/woman you would fall in love with. Write the hero you want to be. And then market it accordingly.