While this post targets the non-writers in our lives, I thought it’d be a fun read, and one you can just save and show whenever weird or unwelcome questions about writing bother you. 🙂

And if you have anything to add, please do so in the comments!

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There is a rare breed of writers who have thick skin. They never get offended, annoyed, or upset. The unluckier but more common group, however, just learn to deal with these emotions. We develop ways to remain professional and calm while dealing with the turmoil inside.

Then we probably create a fictional character inspired by you and make sure that character gets what’s coming to them. Hey, it is fiction. Anything is allowed.

Look, we get it. We are in a weird profession. Many of the curious folk who utter these words mean well. They either want to find out more or don’t want us to suffer any more than we already do. But they inadvertently get under our skin.

Because despite all the love, passion, fun, entertainment, and satisfaction writing fills us with, we manage a lot of unpredictability, instability, rejection, fear, creative blocks and anger (and then some!) on a daily basis. So we don’t need any more negativity from other sources, especially if those sources are family and friends.

It is an easy list. Go ahead, internalize it. The writers in your life will love you more for it.

• Get a real/another job.

Fun fact: we actually like money.

We don’t need to be rolling in it to feel happy or complete, but we recognize it as a necessary tool to survive and thrive in the world. We don’t need yachts, extra homes, or opulence (I’m not saying we object to those things. I’m just pointing out that we don’t need them), but we do need health insurance, food, shelter, some savings, and a bit more dough for the little social things that make life a bit more enjoyable: like the occasional meal out, seeing our favorite actors on the big screen, or going on a short vacation.

So if our writing isn’t bringing us enough money for the time period, we will get a job. Math might not be our favorite subject in the world, but we get the equation involving expenses and money earned.

Exceptions, of course, do exist. If we trust your judgment and ideas, we might ask you to brainstorm with us on ways we can get a better job or make more money. Then, please, share your ideas away. We asked for it.

• Aren’t you wasting your education/training/intelligence/skills/previous job experience?

What we studied in school, whatever jobs we held don’t matter in the slightest if that is not the area we want to work in.

It doesn’t matter that we busted our asses getting into college to study law/medicine/engineering/business/advertising/whatever. If we wanted to work in these areas, we would. (Some of us are, but hey, you wouldn’t be asking them this question.)

We spend 1/3 of our lives at work. Imagine that. Why would you want or expect us to do anything other than we love?

Maybe we studied something for years before we realized it wasn’t for us. It’d be depressing to see that as wasted time. Instead, we learned a lot about something and moved on.

Did you know that Dave Evans, the co-author of the New York Times best-selling book Designing Your Life: Build the Perfect Career, Step by Step (aff. link)  who is a designer and a design professor, first intended to be a marine biologist? As a fan of the book, I for one am glad he carved a different path. (And he carved it because he discovered he didn’t enjoy being a biologist.)

Maybe we are writing about the areas we studied in. We are creating characters who work in those industries or penning non-fiction pieces we managed to get from editors – you guessed it – by mentioning our education and any work experience.

When I’m not writing, I can be found teaching English to adults. When I teach Business English, unlike a lot of teachers, I don’t have to spend hours familiarizing myself with the jargon or finding interesting industry examples to help them learn better. Why? Because I did study business and advertising in college. I didn’t get a job in advertising because I don’t enjoy it. I do. That’s why I studied it. I just don’t love it enough to dedicate 1/3 of my life to it.

• So is John Grisham/Stephen King/J.K. Rowling on your speed dial?

This might be just about me.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t know any famous writers. Although I know a plethora of authors, none of them are household names yet. But fingers crossed, one day they will be. They deserve it.

• Can you make money writing/Do you make money?

Yes, you can make money writing.

Did you know I once got $400 for expressing my opinion? While there is a lot more to writing an op-ed than  just telling people what I think, it doesn’t change the fact that there is money in a writing career.

When you can sell many copies of your books, you also make money. If you option or sell your script, you make money.

But do people regularly ask you your salary? Why are you so concerned with ours?

• How do you make money?

OK, actually this question is allowed if we have entered an interesting conversation about the nuts and bolts of how a writing career works. You are also allowed to ask it if you are a budding writer who wants to learn or another experienced writer who wants to compare notes.

You are not allowed to ask it, however, in a condescending, shocked, or worried tone.

Yes, we make money. But we would also keep writing if we weren’t. That doesn’t give anyone the right not to pay us what we deserve. It just means that we feel compelled to share our written words with the outside world.

When I was in high school, I created a romantic comedy TV-series. I wrote it in screenplay format, printed out, and handed interested friends the episodes in order. We talked about their favorite events and characters, what they hoped would happen, what worked well and what didn’t.

I learned a lot, but I also had so much fun. I didn’t make a dime, but I got read. It was glorious.

Because I am a writer. I write.

• How will you retire?

We won’t! I mean we save money for emergencies and contingencies, but we won’t quit if we can help it. That is the whole point. For us, it is not just a job or career. It is a calling. It is a part of us. We are always filled with stories.

• What do you write?

How much time have you got?

Technically, there is nothing wrong with it if you ask a writer who only writes in one genre or niche, but most writers won’t a short answer.

Unless you are an agent, manager, editor, or a producer, you won’t get an “elevator” version.

My short answer is: Screenplays, novels, and non-fiction.

Longer answer: I write romantic comedies and dramas. With non-fiction, I generally cover lifestyle topics in essays, blog posts, articles, or op-eds. It is a shorter list if I go over what I don’t write about than what I do.

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Don’t get us wrong. We like it when people are interested in us and in our work. We don’t mind questions that every profession begets. We are just tired of people who treat us like weird creatures living life in a fantasy bubble that don’t know how the world works.

We know exactly how the world works. That’s why so many of us became writers. To change it, enhance it, to make it better.

So the question is, will you behave, or will you become the villain in our next story?