Pinar Tarhan, Author at Addicted to Writing

Review of Wayne E. Pollard’s Hilarious E-book A Kilo of Chocolate Sprinkles

Posted on July 4, 2012 Written by Pinar Tarhan

I usually start my day by playing games, checking e-mails and reading my Facebook messages. Don’t frown- it is only while I am eating my breakfast. It might not be the most productive thing to do, but it is a fun, easy way to start the day.

But today I started my day by reading Wayne E. Pollard’s (Bo’s Café Life)’s A Kilo of Chocolate Sprinkles and…well, I don’t remember starting a day with that many laughs. Hey, the e-book was over before my breakfast. Hell, my breakfast isn’t still over because I couldn’t wait to write the book’s review.

While Wayne is famous for his hilarious take on the writing life and his no-B.S. tips for writers, I found that the e-book can be enjoyed by writers as much as the non-writers. There are two-three chapters that will probably be enjoyed more by the writers, and a chapter that will probably make women laugh a lot harder.

But as a whole, if you have been alive for a couple of decades (yes, 20s count!-I’m 27) , I’m pretty sure you will have a good laugh. And even the bits that don’t make you laugh out loud will probably cause a huge grin.

Chapter by Chapter Breakdown

The book is only 23 pages so I won’t give away a lot, but you need to have a clue for what’s ahead so let’s roll:

Husband Training:

(yes, this is the chapter women will like more.)

According to Wayne, inspired by a dog-training book he read, husbands can be (and should be) trained, house or otherwise. He gives wonderfully useful tips on what to teach them, as well as when and how. And you can’t blame him for being sexist or anything. He is A GUY (the name Wayne probably gave it away) and he is Married.

And even if you aren’t married, many of the tips do count for a boyfriend – live-in-or not. After all, the earlier you train them, the faster they will learn and make your relationship a lot less annoying.

The best part of this article is that it is multi-functional. You can use it for dogs without having to buy the actual dog training book. Or just read it to your mother and make her day. She regrets not having applied some of the tips 3 decades ago.

On Metabolism

Ah… the good old days when my metabolism was so fast that it burned all the chips and chocolate I devoured without causing me any weight gain or cellulite. Unfortunately the last healthy, flat-stomached photo I have is from when I was 16.

Oh, of course my metabolism is a tad faster than his, and I am not overweight or anything. I also have the advantage of being tall and the opposite of being flat-chested, so I can hide the extra weight with some clever tactics. But of course they work in winter, not during the bikini season.

My point, going on to prove his, is that your metabolism slows down with age – considerably. Of course some of the husband training tips must be used on your metabolism. Train it earlier, so that you won’t find yourself trying to lose 9 pounds before meeting some old friends in a month

Of course Wayne gives some really good tips on what to avoid. Just take those in, and not just the funny truth.

OK. Moving on.

Café Life

Now, this will appeal more to writers, as when you say café, ( freelance) writers

visualize coffee and their writing gear simultaneously. Cafés are the perfect offices for writers. I even sold an article on this very topic. Talk about writing what you know!

The point is, the non-writer group, if they are not freelancers, they don’t really get the café love. When I mention a friend that I work at a certain café, they immediately assume I’m a barista. Not that there is anything wrong with being a barista. But it just goes to show that to others, working at a café can only mean one thing.

I have a hard time explaining why I refuse to spend money on the cocktails I love but splurge on the coffee and food while I write at a café. For one thing, I have to show something for all the hours I spend there (though some café’s staff adopted me and wouldn’t mind whether I drink just one cup of coffee for the entire day. Some invented a discount just for me!). Not that I could survive on one cup anyway.

Another thing is that it is still cheaper than renting my own office and more varied and less isolated. And it is cosy and fun. Shock, shock – I also sold an article on how to choose the perfect coffee shop.

Needless to say, Wayne enjoyed and related to those, just like his piece something like I’d have written – only it is funnier.

A Telephone Conversation between Charles Dickens and His Publisher

Yep, this is the second article that will make writers laugh harder. But any avid reader with a clue about what the hell is going on with the social media, will enjoy it immensely too. Imagine Charles Dickens still living today (would be cool if he was actually immortal and not just his works.) and what his editor would be asking him to do.

Then read the article. Who needs a joke when you can have this dialogue?

Media Tour Tips

Third article that will go along way with writers on media tours. But then again, tips can be applied to any job because let’s face it, it is usually all about showing your USP (unique selling point) and going an extra mile. Although I2m betting that you will be surprised by “this” extra mile.

Oh and he has great tips on how to give interviews, radio or otherwise. Again, applicable to interviews with any professional.

A Kilo of Chocolate Sprinkles

And finally comes the chapter the book is named after… Here, Wayne admits to his ice-cream addiction in his own honest and entertaining way.

Of course not everybody has an ice-cream addiction, but a lot of us have addictions. Mine is chocolate (OK, the food one is chocolate. The others are movies and music, though they are usually more beneficial to my career and life in general.)

Just substitute the word ice-cream with your addiction, and it will hit right home. Of course since it is July, many of you will find the ice-cream addiction spot-on and relatable. I know I do.

And surely I can’t be the only one whose mouth watered by the title? It is not a coincidence that Chocolat is one of my favorite movies. And it having a Johnny Depp romance in it is just a perk. Although after the movie, we did debate among female friends: Chocolate or Johnny Depp? In the end we opted for the easy way out. Johnny Depp with chocolate. I have never been fond of compromising anyway.; )

So grab the book on Amazon for just 0.99, and make your day. And do share this gem with the non-writers. They need humor too, even though they do often think that we are from another planet…

Am I The Only Writer Who Doesn’t Like Poetry?

Posted on June 28, 2012 Written by Pinar Tarhan

Chicken Poetry — Not to contradict my own title or anything, but I actually enjoyed this “joke” on poetry. Apparently I do enjoy poetry humor or funny poetry.

I have never heard from another writer that he/she doesn’t like poetry. Frankly, I haven’t met that many people who openly admit that they don’t like poetry either. This may make me look bad, but it is OK. I’ve always been honest with you. Here it is: I don’t enjoy poetry. And I really tried to like it.

Right from elementary school, my teachers pushed poetry as the noblest medium. From middle school and onwards, I had the chance to read many, many poems by a diversity of poets, in very different styles and I just couldn’t enjoy it. They just didn’t resonate with me.

For some reason, poetry never sounded natural to me. I always sensed a touch of pretense, the desire to show life more painful than it had to be, the desire to sound profound and educated and charismatic rather than sincere and heartfelt.

I am not saying the poets who wrote those poems weren’t sincere. I’m however saying that they did feel artificial to me, and after all, whether or not you like something mostly (if not entirely) depends on how it makes you feel.

I have never been a fan of short stories either. For me, a story just doesn’t end in a couple of pages. I know there are a lot of different kinds and word counts and styles, but the effect for me is the same. I don’t get to know the characters enough, I don’t have the time or the opportunity to get to care about them. As a result, I end up forgetting all about it. Best case scenario, I remember how powerful the idea was. But I still have a million questions in my head about characters, the backgrounds, the motives. Not that all questions should be answered, but I’d like to have at least a couple answered.

I’m in no way looking down on these genres or lacking respect towards them. I am just saying that with so many flavors the tea comes in, I just don’t enjoy them all.

How do you feel? And it is completely OK if you always felt close to some or all types of writing. Feel free to share what kind of writing you feel the closest to and why.

How to Handle a Big Boost in Ideas, Projects and Needs

Posted on June 16, 2012 Written by Pinar Tarhan

Does it seem familiar? Busy Writer cartoon via weblogcartoons.com.

Freelancers often worry about creativity blocks, lack of time, unsatisfactory levels of productivity and lack of promising projects. But what happens when you find yourself bursting with ideas, enthusiasm for promising projects, inspiration for your own marketing efforts, combined with the expectations of your day job/part-time job if you have one?

My “juggling” need started in late May when I had to deal with multiple competitions I wanted to enter, lots of ideas to pitch to different kinds of clients, upcoming deadlines for existing clients and the much-needed updates to my own web presence and marketing plans. With only 2 to 4 weeks to pull it all off, I came with an efficient plan to manage everything – without losing any valuable ideas in the process. I’m progressing at an effective speed.

Oh, yes – this can happen. Maybe it is the summer bringing out extra creativity in me or the upcoming deadlines of writing competitions, but I never had so many ideas and deadlines at the same time. The competitions want the type of stories I’m interested in, I have a lot of cool ideas both for my own and other people’s publications, potential new clients…and did I mention that the deadlines are relatively close and I also have a part-time job?

No, I’m not complaining. I’ve been quite thrilled and motivated actually. OK, I did panic a bit in the beginning. But once I sat down and came up with a followable plan (which is a plan that doesn’t push my limits more than it has to.) Everything fell into place.

So how do you start taking steps to enable yourself to juggle everything at once while performing satisfactorily at all of them without missing deadlines? Beware that you’ll need to do most (if not) all steps simultaneously.

1) Take a deep breath, and start researching.

What are your options? The deadlines? The costs? Conditions?

Prioritize according to your needs, expectations and the potential rewards. Then get to work, starting from number 1 on your to-do list.

2) Note down all the ideas- no matter how big or small, good or mediocre, detailed or precise.

Note who they might be for, and don’t limit yourself to one market/client. If this is a perfect fit for more than one market, write that down too.

3) Take this rush “period” to quickly but efficiently digest the extra information you need on the markets and how-tos.

I know there are a lot of great resources lying around waiting to be studied- and there is no time like the immediate need to devour the urgently-needed tips. This might even give you more ideas, which you will include in action number 2. Nobody is 100% creative or productive all the time, so take full advantage of this period.

4) Do the actual work – whether it is marketing, designing, writing, editing or else.

5) Switch between projects, without missing deadlines, when you get stuck or less productive.

6) Check, polish and deliver to the final destinations – but don’t forget to keep track of what you did for whom and when.

7) Cross “the done” off from your list of priorities – and make a new list of priorities if you have discovered more of those.

8) Review, refresh and edit your list of ideas- note their desired destinations and make a plan for the next couple of months.

9) Relax a little, do the social stuff you might have missed to recharge for the next round of rush period.

10) Reap the rewards and lessons of this insanely busy period.

Inspiration Caught This Freelance Writer Big Time

Posted on June 7, 2012 Written by Pinar Tarhan

inspiration-moment, writing inspiration, inspiration for writers — Image via copyblogger.com

I can’t believe my last post was a month ago. I’m so sorry about that. But I have a valid excuse: I was listening to my own advice (I’m a big fan of practicing what I preach.) Inspiration and motivation were chasing me at record speed so I willingly surrendered. I’m not saying that I didn’t get any valuable ideas to share here. I did. But I wanted to keep a really good record of every idea and goal so I jotted down a lot, changed my mind a couple of times about which contests to enter, wrote my drafts and I’m back. And I promise not to stay away for so long again.

Inspiration-struck Me:

– I have had these two fun screenplay ideas (actually I’d written the first drafts a long time ago) for ages but there was no way I’d be able to format them in time for the Big Break Contest organized by *Final Draft (a screenwriting software I’ve been happily using whose review I’ll post soon).

But Big Break’s *extended deadline is 15^th June, they want the full script and the awards are nothing short of amazing. But my two scripts need adjustments in many areas, and there is no way they will be fit for a contest until the deadline.

Then I realized that I could enter the Script Pipeline’s Great Idea contest, where you are allowed to write anything from a logline to a treatment of 3-5 pages.

So guess what? Currently I’m writing 2 treatments and editing them. I’ll then submit & keep my fingers crossed. And even though I don’t get to be a finalist, I’ll have two very clear ideas on how I want to outline the story, and relive the events and my characters. Of course I won’t be sitting on these screenplays afterwards.

– I have some upcoming fun and useful writing posts.

– I have some wonderful movie post (for my entertainment blog) ideas, based on the romantic in me. It’s all Forget Me Not’s fault really. I can no longer delay those posts, such as the most romantic & original marriage proposal in a movie.

– My favorite TV shows are either over or on a seasonal break- which incidentally is on its way to be another post here. Oh yes, it is perfectly writing-relevant, trust me.

– I’m planning a two week trip to Norway and Sweden which motivated me further to pitch and research more efficiently.

Not only is it a specific deadline challenge, but also its blows to the budget will provide more incentive to increase my freelance income. Not just because I will spend a lot, but I’ll want to go on a travelling spree again very soon.

Yes, I confess, I am addicted to traveling, nearly as much as I’m addicted to writing and entertainment.

There’s more, but let that be another post.

How has your writing been going?

Please note that extended deadlines typically mean increased entrance fees.
The links in these posts aren’t affiliate links, just the direct links to the contest information pages.