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Anyone But You: Haters to Lovers Trope Done Right

Posted on March 15, 2024 Written by Pinar Tarhan

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Anyone But You is the 2023 romcom starring Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell that has brought more than $210 million at box offices worldwide against a 25 million budget, giving romcom lovers and writers hope everywhere.

As a romcom writer and fan, I was curious to see if the film would meet my expectations and it has. Before I get into the spoiler-including analysis of the film’s haters-to-lovers trope, let’s talk briefly about the film and the plot so that you can decide if you want to see it.

Based loosely on Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing, Anyone But You centers on Bea (Sweeney) and Ben (Powell) who have a great first meeting but “circumstances” turn their initial attraction and bond into “hatred.”

So when Bea’s sister and Ben’s good friend announce their engagement, these two are less than thrilled to have to spend a few days together in the same (albeit big and gorgeous) house. To prevent Bea and Ben from destroying the wedding with their animosity, the parents, brides-to-be, and friends plot to get Bea and Ben together. Noticing this early on, the duo fakes their relationship to get everyone off their back and help Ben get back together with an ex who happens to be his best friend’s cousin.

Expectedly, faking a relationship is never not complicated or hilarious.

My thoughts on Anyone But You

I really liked the movie. Was it always perfect? No. But it was a sweet and entertaining comedy with a great cast including Dermot Mulroney, Rachel Griffiths, and Bryan Brown. Haters-to-lovers trope rarely includes mature characters, and this one is no exception. So yes, there will be some cringy moments and scenes where you want to shout “Why don’t you just talk honestly?” to the main characters. But as a whole, it’s a satisfactory R-rated romcom, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Powell and Sweeney play a couple again in another movie, hopefully, another romantic comedy.

The problem with haters-to-lovers:

As far as romance tropes go, this is one of my least favorites. I don’t believe two people who get on each other’s nerves can ever make a compatible couple. And does anyone still buy into the myth of “If they are mean to you, it’s because they like you.”? Sure, the world has billions of people. There must be people who do confuse flirting with bullying or just downright being insufferable around the person they are crushing on. But that’s not a healthy attitude, and the relationship will be a disaster.

But you can of course play around with tropes and give it your own twist. I did in my romcom novel A Change Would Do You Good. When my protagonists Kevin and Janie first meet, it’s all sparks and chemistry. They are new neighbors, and they are nice to one another. The problem is, Kevin finds her incredibly attractive while Janie is still recovering from a loss and isn’t ready to date anyone. And just when he thinks something is going to happen, she’s thinking they are making good friends. It’s when their wildly romantic pasts and current expectations clash that they turn into haters. But the sparks and chemistry are always there, and they are two people in their 30s. You can bet they don’t stay in the haters zone for long.

Bea and Ben follow a similar pattern. When they first meet, it’s fireworks. Their first date is the stuff of dreams. But two misinterpretations start an immature animosity. They have never really hated each other, though. They just hated thinking the other person didn’t feel the same way. And we are all prone to being a little childish when we are majorly disappointed.

And who doesn’t want to spend the majority of 103 minutes at a gorgeous villa in Sydney?

Romcoms are supposed to be predictable

Yes, and that’s why we love them. I just read a review that bashed Anyone But You for capitalizing on the looks of how the lead actors are and predictability.

News flash: 99% of romcoms – whether book, movie, or film – love to feature hot characters. We want to be with one character and we want to be the other. And if it’s not predictable in certain ways, then it’s not a romcom. If you don’t give us a couple who fall madly in love and stay together, it’s not what we wanted.

Now, not all romcoms are created equal. Some will be steamier. Some will be cleaner. Some will surprise you more. Some will be more annoying. And of course, one person’s cringe is another one’s favorite love story. There are several extremely popular romcoms that I hate. So while severely disagreeing with that one reviewer, I do respect their right to hate it – just not the reasons they gave for it.

My only beef with the movie…

It makes me feel old. While I’m from the same generation as Glen Powell, I’m just not ready to watch Dermot Mulroney as an adult’s dad or the supporting guy in a romantic movie. Whether he’s marrying his adorable girlfriend (My Best Friend’s Wedding), falling in love big time while fighting cancer (Griffin and Phoenix), or realizing he’s marrying the wrong woman after all (The Family Stone), I need him in the lead role in a romantic movie. 🙂

Other featured tropes in the film:

Love/attraction at first sight
Close Proximity
Plotting friends and family
Fake relationship

Also recommended:

The Hating Game. As immature as the characters can be, they at least have a somewhat valid reason to hate each other. I loved both the movie and the book.
Much Ado About Nothing (93 movie). You might not be in the mood to read Shakespeare, but what if you could watch a period romcom starring Emma Thompson, Kenneth Branagh, Denzel Washington, Michael Keaton and Keanu Reeves?
Griffin and Phoenix. Yes, watch My Best Friends’s Wedding and The Family Stone if you haven’t already. But Griffin and Phoenix is a romantic drama that is superior to both romcoms. And this is huge coming from me because I’m usually not in the mood for watching romantic films where both characters might die and a happy ending is improbable. But like I’ve covered in my book How to Write the Ultimate Non-Tragic Romance, it is one thing to suddenly tell your audience/reader that your character has cancer after they have invested in their relationship versus telling them right away. When the audience knows right away, all the drama feels more organic and it will be sadder. And it’s a healthy, realistic, sweet, and sexy romance between two adults – which is unfortunately not done that often.

Have you seen any of the movies I mentioned in the post? What did you think? Comment away. 🙂

How to Use Excess to Create Memorable Characters in Your Fiction

Posted on January 13, 2024 Written by Pinar Tarhan

This looks like a smaller version of my cup collection. Or just how much coffee Lorelai drinks in a day…

“Everything in moderation” is good life advice in general. It helps us maintain healthy diets, not neglect or overdo exercise, don’t go bankrupt on shopping sprees… All sensible stuff.

But if there’s one place where excess is welcome, and it’s fiction.

Most of our favorite books, shows, and movies feature main characters with extreme habits and/or personality traits. Many stretch the courtesy to supporting characters as well.

While how much excess (and in what areas) one prefers can vary, here are some of my favorite “excess” examples:

Excess Examples in TV Series

Gilmore Girls

One of my all-time favorite shows Gilmore Girls centers around best friend mother-daughter duo Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. They share similar taste in music, movies, food, and clothing. They order too much takeout, consume a scary amount of coffee, and talk at a million miles a minute.

The show is funny, romantic and emotional, and the excesses don’t end with Lorelai and Rory. It merely begins there.

The maker of their favorite coffee, Luke (Scott Patterson), owns Luke’s diner. A town issue will up his grumpiness and ranting to the max.

Lorelai’s best friend Chef Sookie (Melissa McCarthy) is extremely clumsy, forgetful, and in love with her cooking.

Lorelai’s co-worker Michel couldn’t be more stereotypically French if he tried.

Town spokesperson Taylor is always annoying one poor soul or another with his demands, festivals, problems, complaints, etc… And when it’s not one or two people, he’s pissing off the entire town.

The town’s weirdest resident Kirk makes Phoebe from Friends seem sane and normal. There’s no job he won’t try, for one.

Lorelai’s next-door neighbor Babette is loud, loving, very fond of her cat and her husband, and doesn’t exactly know boundaries (but in a cute, warm way).

Last but not least, Lorelai’s estranged rich parents, Emily (Kelly Bishop) and Richard (Edward Herrmann) are excessively elitist, opinionated, lacking in empathy, and unappreciative of boundaries. Friday night dinners are a battleground. And both Emily and Richard are prone to tantrums that would make 5-year-olds facepalm.

Gilmore Girls is a quintessential feel-good comedy drama, and this beautifully written excess is one of the elements making it so memorable and addictive even after all these years.

Friends

If you don’t think Friends isn’t funny, we can’t be friends. I’m kidding. Of course, we can. We probably shouldn’t watch a comedy together, though.

If Friends isn’t your kind of sitcom, pick yours. Sitcoms mine excess to hilarious results.

Whether it’s The Office, The Bing Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, or another show, you will notice the excess immediately.

In Friends, Joey (Matt LeBlanc) eats anything and everything. He covets food more than his own life, and almost as much as he loves sex. He is also very stupid. He is cute and loveable, but he likely wouldn’t survive long outside of a TV show. But there is an exception: If he’s trying to pick up a girl, his IQ suddenly spikes.

Initially, Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) is spoilt and clueless about the real world. As seasons progress, her remaining excess is her love for fashion and shopping.

Monica (Courteney Cox) is an amazing cook and terribly organized, clean, and competitive. She exhibits a love for cleaning that would prompt a psychological diagnosis. She once cleaned several cars in her neighborhood because they looked dirty.

Ross (David Schwimmer) is a massive dinosaur nerd. He gets excessively jealous when he dates Rachel, but outside of that, he is all about academia and dinosaurs and putting his friends to sleep.

Chandler (Matthew Perry) IS sarcasm. He is also hilarious. He manages to be extremely commitment-averse and afraid to be alone at the same time.

Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) is just quirkiness personified. Bohemian, unique, and flaky, she is a lot of people’s favorite character.

Excess Examples in Movies

John Wick

John Wick is very stylish and although bloody, it’s not too gory. Which is how I love my action thrillers.

Wrong John Wick (Keanu Reeves), and he will kill you. Even if you bring 100 people along. And we love him for it. Whether it’s guns, swords, hand-to-hand combat, or pencils, he will take you out. So don’t get in his way.

Any kickass action hero with kickass killing and survival skills fits here: Rambo, Robert McCall (The Equalizer), Lorraine Broughton (Atomic Blonde), Ethan Hunt (Mission Impossible), Jack Reacher (is a great example because Reacher was/is a book series first, movie and then TV adaptation), Bryan Mills (Taken, of movie and TV series fame), Duncan Vizla (Polar), Evelyn Salt (Salt), Mr. and Mrs. Smith (Mr. and Mrs. Smith), Cataleya (Colombiana)…

The list is long, but let me finish with Smith (Clive Owen) from Shoot ‘Em Up. Not only does the movie have a fantastic cast, action scenes, and a kickass rock soundtrack, but I’ll forever be grateful to have learned how deadly carrots can be in the right hands.

These people are deadly, but they will look after the people they take care about.

Excess Examples in Books

Pride and Prejudice

True to its title and theme, Elizabeth can be very prejudiced and proud. And so can the male main character Mr. Darcy.

Moreover, Elizabeth is incredibly modern and ahead of her time. She’d rather read and walk all day and night rather than conform to her society’s norms. Darcy is very introverted and prejudiced, so he comes off as rude.

But that’s not all. Elizabeth’s mother is so obsessed with marrying off her daughters, love and compatibility don’t even cross her mind. Collins’ lack of emotional intelligence and self-awareness are astoundingly hilarious.

A Change Would Do You Good

A Change Would Do You Good is a short, escapist rom-com trilogy, and is also the title of the first book in the series.

Excess in opposite directions works wonders for creating conflict.

My main character Janie is still recovering from a loss. She experienced true love and an amazing relationship, and she is certain she will never feel the same way about anyone.

On the other hand, her new neighbor Kevin has had a blessed existence. He is a top surfer, has never met a beautiful woman he couldn’t seduce, and has no interest in a romantic, serious relationship. Put these extreme ends together, and the sparks are electrifying.

But because this is an ensemble romcom novel, plenty of excess can be found in other characters: How well Ben and Greg’s lives are going vs. how much of a rut Linda’s in, Ashley’s apathy and disregard for others, the career Tom and Sam want vs. the career they have…

***

Love it or hate it, any successful work of fiction has excess. When you write fiction, it’s okay to go all the way with character quirks, tastes, and personality traits.

When you are reading or watching and the excess puts you off, it might be that you aren’t the intended target audience. And it’s okay.

For writers:

If you find yourself lacking inspiration, look at yourself and your friends. What about you/them seems strange/over the top to other people? What have been some of your weirdest encounters? Remember how life is often stranger than fiction, and you’ll have more material than you can handle.

***

What are your favorite excess examples in fiction? Let me know in the comments.

The Surprise Child Trope: How to Piss off Your Readers and Viewers

Posted on October 17, 2023 Written by Pinar Tarhan

Readers and viewers come with a variety of tastes when it comes to tropes. Some people hate love triangles; some love them. And many readers live for the friends-to-lovers; others avoid them when they can.

But there’s one trope that I have never seen anyone talk highly about: It’s the surprise/secret child trope. You follow a TV series or a book (series), and suddenly there’s a child or a teenager that the main character (or a significant character that heavily impacts the main character) has had. Oops. Now the audience has to sit back and watch all the conflicts unfold, all because of a kid we never signed up for.

There is nothing wrong with writing about characters who are parents. But if we suddenly have to deal with a child that comes out of nowhere after 5 or more seasons (or books), we start to complain.

Here, I’m going to remind you how certain shows lost or lowered their appeal, and two shows that did it right and how.

Note: Please note that this post contains affiliate links. It’s no extra cost to you, but I do make a little if you buy through them.

Spoiler Alert: This post contains spoilers about Buffy, Gilmore Girls, Lucifer, Ally McBeal, and Virgin River.

Let’s start with a good example.

Grandfathered starring John Stamos and Josh Peck

While it only aired for one season, this Stamos comedy was a sweet and fun one. A handsome, successful, and happily single restaurant owner gets a double shock when the adult son he didn’t know he had shows up with his granddaughter.

It’s a fun concept and a welcome twist on the good old trope. And the best part? We were ready for it as an audience.

Where the fandoms didn’t welcome the surprise child.

Buffy starring Sarah Michelle Gellar

Here we are, happy Buffy fans until season 5, knowing that our favorite vampire slayer is an only child… until there is suddenly a teenager and she’s Buffy’s sister. And she has been Buffy’s sister this whole time.

Technically, Buffy’s mother is not blindsided by the sudden existence of her child. Neither is Buffy. It’s only the audience.

Buffy is a supernatural show. We can accept a lot of things. But of all the things Buffy fans disagree about (“Angel or Spike?”, “Is Riley an undeserving man unworthy of Buffy or is he a decent guy who dealt with the crazy world the best he could? ”, etc.), there is one consensus. I never heard a Buffy fan happy about the arrival of Dawn.

Gilmore Girls starring Lauren Graham

I love this show. I resisted it for a long time because everyone seemed to love it, and I didn’t think it could be that good. I was wrong. It really is that good. Except season 6. I’d like to pretend Season 6, from episode 9, never happened. Because you guessed it, the main male character of the show, our beloved TV boyfriend Luke Danes got a 12-year-old daughter. And both a character and a romance for the ages were ruined.

But first, let’s give a short recap for those of you who never watched the show:

Lorelai is an independent, fast-talking, gorgeous single mother in her early 30s. She manages the hotel in the small town Sleepy Hollow and raises her book-smart and pretty teenager Rory. The two are more besties than mother and daughter. However, the picture-perfect life Lorelai built here will be disturbed when Lorelai has to ask her estranged parents for money so that she can send Rory to her dream school.

There are many storylines, character arcs, and relationships we don’t see eye to eye as GG fans. But we do agree that Luke Danes is awesome.

Luke owns and runs the diner in town, which is his dream job. He’s handsome, honest, dependable, and fun in his own way. Luke is so well-written and portrayed that he almost seems more real than other men we see on TV.

It takes a long time for Lorelai and Luke to get together. Like four entire seasons. Then we still have to wait a bit more for the first official date. But when the romance starts, we are thrilled. These two are made for each other.

And the proposal scene in season 5, as well Luke’s reaction… Well, I think I watched it like a hundred times. Cuteness overload.

And then during season 6, we get a child, and it all goes to hell from there. I have nothing against the child herself as a character. While I’d rather Luke never had a kid, she is okay. It’s the man/fiancé Luke turns into that I hate.

He neglects Lorelai so badly that she goes nuclear when she ends it. And I don’t blame her one bit. She hung on a lot longer than I’d have, and she only did because this was Luke.

Don’t worry, they fix things in season 7. But man, what an unnecessary bumpy ride we didn’t need.

The reason Luke gets no sympathy from us is he had no excuse. His daughter wasn’t problematic. She wasn’t terminally ill. She got along fine with Lorelai. Lorelai was also sweet and welcoming.

I’d like to pretend Luke was temporarily replaced by an alien or android. If GG had a fight club, the first rule would be we hate season 6 Luke.

Ally McBeal starring Calista Flockhart

Ally McBeal will always have a special place in my heart. I was supposed to be studying for college entrance exams, but had a bunch of health issues so I watched a lot of series. One of my favorites was this quirky comedy drama, and to this day it remains one of the quirkiest, most fun shows I’ve seen.

Ally is a young lawyer who accidentally ends up working at the same company as her college boyfriend Billy and his wife while Ally not being the quirkiest character… You just need to watch it. The show was David E. Kelley, who has a track record of creating addictive legal comedies and dramas.

But if I had to choose my least favorite Ally McBeal storyline, the award goes to season 5 (the show’s last season) where a 10-year-old shows up at Ally’s door and says she’s her daughter. Turns out, Ally joined a fertility study, they made a mistake, and when the girl’s father died, she came looking.

Now, in one episode, Ally decided she was meant to be a mother. One episode. What???

Though not at the same level as Gilmore Girls, I am still not sure a daughter was the be-all-end-all solution to all of Ally’s problems. It’s like almost impossible for a woman to find what makes her complete without a romantic partner or a kid. (Eye roll.)

Oh well. At least season 5 had James Marsden, Josh Hopkins, Regina Hall, Jon Bon Jovi, and Tim DeKay as guest stars.

Lucifer starring Tom Ellis

Based on the DC comics Lucifer, Lucifer has one of the most fun concepts ever: The devil gets bored in hell, and moves to Los Angeles where he runs a piano bar and assists the LAPD with solving murders. Tom Ellis is never anything less than perfect as Lucifer. And while some storylines, seasons, and character developments are more interesting than others, he is always a joy to watch. The song and dance numbers on the show are also priceless.

What sets Lucifer apart from other in(famous) comic characters is that he never tries to hide his identity. He tells everyone he’s the devil and no one believes him, which adds more hilarity.

So while I recommend anyone give Lucifer a try, I am also not going to insist you watch season 6. In episode 2, we meet a petulant young adult from hell. With wings. In episode 3, we find out – along with Lucifer – that she is his daughter.

What????? Why?

The rest of the storyline is hazy because I never could give my full attention after this. As you know, this is not my first surprise child character.

I prefer Lucifer’s episodic stories over serial ones because serial stories usually get more convoluted as they try to up previous seasons.

A neutral example: Virgin River starring Alexandra Breckenridge

While I don’t watch shows eagerly waiting for a surprise child to turn up, Virgin River’s use of the trope didn’t bother me. For one thing, “the child” didn’t belong to Mel or Jack, our main characters.

At the end of season 3, a handsome college-aged guy named Denny walked into the town’s B&B and declared he was looking for his grandfather, the town doctor.

Since then, Denny’s been a regular on the show. While initially he has a secret, his presence didn’t hurt Doc’s relationships. It didn’t cause a personality change. Denny was a likable character on his own.

When should you consider using this trope?

I believe as a writer you should be able to write whatever you want. Because you can’t (or at least shouldn’t) spend months laboring over something you aren’t excited about. So while I am not a fan of this trope in most cases, only you can know if your story needs it.

You should also consider your target market. If you have asked your readers and they seem to love and expect this trope, then you have nothing to worry about.

Just like any trope, you can make a decision by asking yourself some vital questions.

Does this trope work for my genre, particularly for this story?
How does my audience feel about this trope?
Does this reveal (of the surprise child) feel organic, or was I really just looking for an easy way to create conflict?
Am I staying true to my characters when I write their reactions?
Do I have a fresh, or a lesser-used take on this?

There you have it. What about you? Which surprise child reveal annoys you to no end?

The book or the movie? That’s the question.

Posted on September 7, 2023 Written by Pinar Tarhan

Note: I use affiliate links in this post. If you buy through them, it’s no extra cost to you, but I make a little money, which goes toward running this blog.

I have a confession to make. I don’t always prefer the book. Sometimes, the movie adaptation works fine. You know, when I haven’t read the book first.

I don’t plan it that way. I am just as much into watching movies as I am into reading books. I add a movie to my watchlist or just start watching and then find out it’s based on a book. If I’m already excited about the film, I’m not going to wait until I read the book.

So I watch the movie. And if I really like it, I hunt down the book. This makes disappointment less likely since at this point I’ll have read an article or two about how different these two works of art are. And I won’t be disappointed with the casting – I will just imagine the actors as the leads.

You never know. Sometimes, the movie will have changed things for the better and you won’t enjoy the book. Sometimes, the changes will have worked fine for the medium, and both will give you a lot of joy (Looking at you Red, White, and Royal Blue. (aff.link))

On the other hand, I can’t say the same about Cold Mountain (aff. link). It’s a visual feast. I can’t find fault with it. But I couldn’t get through the novel for some reason.

When did I hate a movie adaptation? Runaway Jury.

Hear me out. Had I not read the novel first (aff.link) – which happens to be one of my favorite novels ever – I would have loved that film. The cast and genre alone would have lured me in. But they changed the core of the novel. A fascinating case against the big tobacco became a gun violence thing.

And… look, I get how more visually impressive (and emotionally more touching and more mainstream ) this decision is. The problem? I loved the plot and the twists and the characters specifically because it was a big tobacco case. And I feel like we have enough great and moving movies about guns. Why couldn’t I have this one? (If you have seen and read Runaway Jury let me know what you think.)

Then there are movie adaptations that are enjoyable enough, if not as memorable as the novels. Two Sophie Kinsella adaptations come to mind: Confessions of a Shopaholic (starring Isla Fisher) and Can You Keep A Secret? (starring Alessandra Daddario). If I had to pick one, I’d pick the novel. But the movies are pleasant experiences and I am glad they exist.

Everyone’s experiences will be different based on taste and expectations. If you hated the adaptation, you’re right. If you loved it, you are right. 🙂

What about you? Which adaptations did you love? Which ones do you hate? Let me know! 🙂