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This Romance Writer’s Top 10 Romance Movies

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It’s romance week on Addicted to Writing!

Valentine’s Day is approaching, and as a romance writer, what better week than this to talk about romance? Today’s post is about my favorite romantic movies: romantic comedies and romantic dramas.

I’ll talk about my favorite movies, give a bit of a plot summary, link to my entertainment blog if I’ve reviewed them in detail before, and of course, talk about why these movies come before others.

I’ve watched them in their entirety several times. I’ve seen some of them probably more than 10 times. I frequently revisit my favorite scenes.

For this list, I’ve included romcoms, romantic dramas, and the occasional romance with other genre elements, like fantasy or sci-fiction.

Note: This post contains affiliate links, which means if you purchase through them, I might earn a little something.

Ready? Let’s roll!

Pride and Prejudice (2005) starring Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen: Romance, Comedy

It really is my favorite romantic movie of all time.

What’s not to like? We have a strong, smart, modern, and gorgeous female lead who is her own person.  Our male lead is well, Mr. Darcy, the ultimate epitome of tall, dark and handsome. He is also adorably flawed, but a total romantic at heart.

Pride and Prejudice Plot Summary:

Living in the early 19th century England, Elizabeth Bennet (Keira Knightley) doesn’t quite belong. She loves to read and take long walks. She is perfectly happy wearing plain clothes, is opinionated, and will not settle for anything less than true love.

Mr. Darcy (Matthew Macfadyen) is shy, rich, and he hates parties.

During a ball, Elizabeth and her sisters meet Mr. Darcy and his best friend Mr. Bingley. But when Darcy acts cold and Elizabeth overhears him saying not-so-great things about her, she speaks his mind and astounds him.

From then on, Elizabeth is on a mission to be even more herself and not impress Darcy. Darcy does his hardest to avoid crushing on Elizabeth: this strong, confident, extroverted woman. Of course, to no avail.

We end up with the greatest romantic comedy of all time.

And if you need more reasons to watch, the cast includes Donald Sutherland, Brenda Blethyn, Carey Mulligan, and Rosamund Pike (Gone Girl).

 

Forget Me Not (2010) starring Tobias Menzies and Genevieve O’Reilly: Romance, Drama

I usually prefer romantic comedies over romantic dramas because life is bleak enough and romcoms guarantee a happy ending.

But some romantic dramas are so good that you forgive them for any tears they might cause you.

Forget Me Not is one such movie.

I have covered it in detail here:

Forget Me Not: Will Not Be Forgotten Any Time Soon

But here’s the plot in a nutshell:

Musician Will (Tobias Menzies) is struggling with a horrible condition and wants to end his life. One night, he saves bartender Eve’s life, and as he accompanies her to a party. They end up staying up all night in London and becoming closer by the minute. But Will’s secret threatens to blow up the magic.

The acting is top-notch, and a 24-hour love story set in contemporary times in a big city makes us believe in love and connection again.

It’s a definite must-watch.

A Royal Affair (2012) starring Mads Mikkelsen and Alicia Vikander: Biography, Drama, History, Romance

Set in 1700s Denmark.

A young queen is set in a loveless marriage. So, she gets close with the royal physician, where there is a meeting of the minds. They don’t only fall in love, but they also try to change the country for the better together.

Unfortunately, others aren’t exactly rooting for enlightenment, and this – along with a pregnancy – brings tragic consequences.

It’s a beautiful period piece and turned me into a Mads Mikkelsen fan for life.

What makes A Royal Affair so powerful and remarkable is that there is a meeting of the minds, and that makes it way more appealing than most opposites attract sort of stories out there. They think alike, and that’s what draws them together.

For more details, check out:

Review for A Royal Affair starring Mads Mikkelsen: Denmark’s Submission to the Oscars

Your Love Sleeps With Another Guy or You Lose Your Baby: A Royal Affair-Most Enthralling Story Conflicts 5

Forever Young (1992) starring Mel Gibson: Romance, Drama, Sci-fi

 

Forever Young is a different kind of romance movie. It follows the male protagonist’s journey, and the love of his life doesn’t get that much screen time, and for solid, logical plot reasons.

It’s 1939, and pilot Daniel (Mel Gibson) is in love with his childhood sweetheart Helen. But just when he is about to propose, Helen is hit by a car and goes into a coma.

Not knowing how to handle his grief, Daniel does something drastic: He persuades his scientist friend to freeze him. He will be woken up if Helen wakes up.

But things don’t go according to plan. Two kids playing where they shouldn’t be wake up Daniel up accidentally – in 1992. Daniel is still in his 30s.

With the help of one of the kids (Elijah Wood) and his mom (Jamie Lee Curtis), Daniel tries to adjust to a life five decades later than his own.

Unfortunately, the side effects of the experiment catch up with him. As he starts to age rapidly, he also finds out that Helen is still alive.

A race against time begins to reunite Daniel with the love of his life.

While you won’t be watching two people falling in love, it is a sweet and quality testament to love and friendship. And it was written by none other than J.J. Abrams (Alias, Lost).

Dirty Dancing (1987) starring Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey: Drama, Romance, Music

And of course, the classic. Set in the early 60s, Dirty Dancing is the love story between Johnny and Baby.

In Dirty Dancing, Baby (Jennifer Grey) goes on a vacation with her parents and sister and is bored out of her mind until she meets the resort’s dance instructor Johnny (Patrick Swayze). Dealing with his problems and his best friend’s, Johnny doesn’t exactly take a liking to Baby at first sight. But when she replaces his dancing partner and they start practicing together, they fall for each other.

I don’t remember my first viewing because I was three. No, really. Mom and dad discovered their hyperactive child loved the movies and stayed quiet there. So they took me to see this. Of course, I have seen it many, many times since then. Dirty Dancing is responsible for a lot of things: my love for dancing, my love for Patrick Swayze, and my taste in men.

Amazing soundtrack too.

If you are a romantic, you need to see this (again).

Iconic Line: Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Patrick Swayze Tribute post

What Women Want (2000) starring Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt: Romance, Comedy, Fantasy

What Women Want is a romcom with a fantasy element, and arguably, it is funnier than it is romantic. But written and directed by Nancy Meyers (The Holiday, Something’s Gotta Give), it’s a wonderful and original story about one man’s transformation from a selfish, womanizing, career-oriented advertising executive into a better lover, parent, and human being.

Nick (Mel Gibson) thinks he is god’s gift to women. After an accident, he gains the ability to hear their thoughts. Initially, he uses his gift for selfish gains, like one-upping his co-worker Darcy (Helen Hunt) and bedding the cute barista (Marisa Tomei). But as he gets to know women better, including Darcy and his own daughter, he starts to become a better man.

What Women Want is the kind of romcom that guys should never complain about being dragged to. After all, it’s comedy gold first and a romantic treat second.

The Ugly Truth (2009) starring Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl: Comedy, Romance.

Romantic and uptight television producer Abby (Katherine Heigl) isn’t a fan of Mike Chadway (Gerard Butler), the handsome but misogynistic TV host of The Ugly Truth. But when her network forces her to work with him and she seems to be getting nowhere romantically with her cute doctor neighbor Colin, she accepts Mike’s help. As Mike helps her become desirable for her crush, he starts falling in love with the real Abby.

The Ugly Truth is a hilarious romcom with ultimately two great messages: The person will love you as you are. And you shouldn’t let your past disappointments turn you into a cynical asshole.

Some of you will be baffled that I chose The Ugly Truth over P.S. I Love You, Gerard Butler’s other great romantic hit. Arguably, Gerry (Butler’s character in P.S. I Love You) is a much better partner than Mike.

And you’d be right. Gerry is adorable, goofy, hot, fun, romantic, nice, and if he has flaws, we don’t quite see it in the film. He is a musician to boot, too.

And while it is indeed one of my favorite romantic movies, I prefer The Ugly Truth because laughter is more fun than pain. I love that the protagonists live and get a happy ending.

27 Dresses (2008) starring Katherine Heigl and James Marsden: Comedy, Romance

Jane (Katherine Heigl) is potentially the world’s best PA and bridesmaid. She’s been a bridesmaid 27 times. She’d love to get married, but her handsome boss George (Edward Burns) isn’t aware of how she feels about him. Things get a lot worse when her sister starts dating him. Wedding journalist Kevin (James Marsden) wants to do a piece on her, and things get even more complicated.

27 Dresses is endearing and funny. I love how Kevin and Jane’s relationship progresses, and I like how the “wrong” guy is also a pretty decent guy.

The Holiday (2006) starring Cameron Diaz and Jude Law

Yes, I love writer/director Nancy Meyers as you can see from me featuring two movies from her in a top 10 list.

But what kind of romantic would I be if I didn’t include the lovely and funny The Holiday?

The Holiday is about two women who are stuck in different places in their lives, though they are both unlucky with men. So, movie trailer maker Amanda from Los Angeles (Cameron Diaz) and English Iris (Kate Winslet) swap their houses for the holidays.

While they were planning to stay away from men, they both meet someone that will change their lives for the better: Amanda falls for Iris’ brother Graham (Jude Law), and Iris gets close with Amanda’s friend Miles (Jack Black). But there will be a lot to figure out before we can get our happy ending.

While You Were Sleeping (1995) starring Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman: Romance, Comedy

Yes, I am a 90s kid, can you tell? 🙂 This gem is from 1995 and has always been one of my favorites to (re)watch.

Starring Bill Pullman and Sandra Bullock, While You Were Sleeping is a wholesome romcom with a crazy concept that can be enjoyed with your entire family.

Hopelessly romantic Lucy (Sandra Bullock) is in love with Peter, a man (Peter Callagher) she has never met but sees on his way to work every day. One day, she saves his life but he goes into a coma. People at the hospital think she is his fiancée, so she doesn’t correct them to be able to see him. But when his family gets there, the situation spirals out of control before Lucy can correct them. Now, Peter’s handsome brother Jack is convinced Lucy is lying and is out to prove it. But as Jack and Lucy end up spending time together, romantic feelings emerge.

Can Lucy get her happy ending with the right brother without losing the family she has come to love as well?

If you are a romantic, you need to watch While You Were Sleeping. It will have you watch it with a big smile on your face, and making you wish you could meet your own Jack.


*

Because I had to pick 10, I had to leave some darlings out. Check these out if you are looking for more suggestions.

– Ghost starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg. Comedy, romance, drama, fantasy.

– The Last of The Mohicans starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Madeleine Stowe. Action, adventure, drama. But the romantic storyline is one of the best. It’s the second highest-rated on IMDB of all the movies I’ve suggested.

– Cold Mountain starring Nicole Kidman and Jude Law.  Adventure, drama, history, romance.

– 10 Things I Hate About You starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Comedy, romance.

– Jane Eyre starring Mia Wasikowska and Michael Fassbender. Drama, romance.

– Before Sunrise starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. Drama, romance. The highest-rated on IMDB of all the movies I’ve suggested and the first movie of the trilogy.

– Lake House starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Drama, romance, fantasy.

– Chocolate starring Juliette Binoche and Johnny Depp.

 

First Chapter of My New Romance Novel: A Change Would Do You Good

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A Change Would Do You Good. A romcom novel by Pinar Tarhan.

 

My upcoming novel is called A Change Would Do You Good, and it’s a romcom drama set in California. It features an ensemble cast of colorful characters, and my protagonist Janie has to navigate loss and a crazy amount of change if she wants to adjust to her crazy new world.

If I were to name chapters, this first chapter would be called Welcome to the Neighborhood.

Read on for a surprise at the end!

 

A Change Would Do You Good

Chapter 1

Los Angeles

 

Janie sat in her therapist Dr. Lucia Lopez’s office for the twenty-seventh time. She had been seeing her for about seven months.

Eight months ago, her boyfriend Lenny had died. Seven months ago, to add insult to injury, her two best friends Sarah and Andy had moved to Canada. That was when Janie knew she wouldn’t survive this without professional help.

It was the right call. They had talked through her pain, as well as feelings of abandonment and betrayal. Who would move abroad when their best friend was mourning the loss of her boyfriend? He had died two days before her thirty-fifth birthday. And a few weeks after his.

But, of course, it wasn’t that simple. Sarah and Andy weren’t just Janie’s best friends. They were also Lenny’s. Not that grief was, or ever should be a competitive sport.  If it were, they would all probably be sharing the medal for first place: Sarah and Lenny had met when they were in diapers. Literally. Their parents were neighbors and dear friends. Luckily for them, their kids — both only children — had taken to each other immediately. Sarah had been inconsolable when Lenny’s father took a job in New York; they were in ninth grade. That’s when she met Janie.

Andy was Lenny’s college roommate. The two bonded over their dream to become Formula 1 drivers and realized it together.

Lenny had introduced Sarah to Andy, and after their move back to LA the four of them had been inseparable. Lenny was a close friend for years before he and Janie started dating.

Yes, the three of them were in immense pain. The difference was Sarah and Andy had each other. And Vancouver had them.

To be fair, Janie did see the appeal of making a new start in a new environment. Yes, she still felt a bit let down. But she was no longer angry with her friends. Talking things through with her therapist had helped immensely.

Lopez observed her patient as Janie studied the beautiful scenic photos of San Diego sprucing up the walls. She was particularly drawn to the blue-dominant one, where high, wild waves crashed onto the golden beach sand.

“Ever been?” Her therapist asked.

“When I was a kid. We vacationed there a lot. It was lovely.”

“Still is.”

Janie could hardly look away from the pictures. She was thinking. Planning. “I never went there with Lenny.”

“Might be just what you need to start over,” her therapist prompted.

“I turned down a job there a couple of weeks ago. Loved the firm. Loved what they offered. But I wasn’t sure I could handle such a huge change.”

“And now?” Janie leaned back and smiled. Her therapist continued. “Being the new person in an environment can provide a lot of distraction. And I definitely encourage you to go out and meet as many new people as you can. Still, never hurts to have someone you can call.” Lopez picked at the neatly stacked Rolodex on her desk. She searched a bit before she found the name she wanted. She took the card out and handed it to Janie. “Greg’s a good friend of mine from school. He’s a therapist himself, but he works for a corporation.”

Janie threw her a curious look.

“I’m sure he can recommend a few decent local therapists should you need one, but I’m really just giving you the number of a friend. He can show you around. Introduce you to people,” the therapist explained.

“Won’t he be weirded out? Me being your patient?”

“Janie, you’re just going through a tough time. And honestly, I think you will hit it off.” Janie looked horrified. The therapist laughed a little. “Relax. I’m not matchmaking. I know you’re not ready to date again. And Greg is seeing someone. But he makes a damn good friend.”

“Thank you,” Janie said gratefully.

*

Janie wasted no time calling Greg when she went home. If she were going to change cities, she might as well start making friends. He sounded even more pleasant than described.

She made her second call to Ellen Parker, the head of the San Diego fashion design firm who had offered her the job.

*

Janie was in her bedroom, hastily packing the remainder of her wardrobe into the suitcase on her bed. She wanted to be out of there like yesterday. Her older brother Peter sat next to the suitcase, disapproving, which was his default mode. Janie kept ignoring him. That was her default in their relationship. He’d never change. And on the plus side, he couldn’t stand being ignored.

Janie looked at her almost full suitcase, and then at the other fully-packed carry-on on the floor. Her closet was far from empty. Peter read her mind.

“That’s what happens when you shop non-stop for three weeks.” Peter pointed out the obvious. Janie kept packing. “You don’t have to do this, you know,” he pressed.

She went into the bathroom. The moment she was out of sight, Peter unzipped the suitcase on the bed and threw the clothes back into the wardrobe.

Janie returned with her toiletries and saw Peter unpacking. “What the hell?” She darted to her bed, pushing him aside. She dumped the toiletries on the bed and quickly recovered the items from the wardrobe, throwing them back into the suitcase until it couldn’t take any more. Then she zipped it shut with one swift, angry pull.

“Hey, take it easy. You know I have nothing against you moving on. But transforming your whole life to do it?”

“Remind me, when did the love of your life die?” She lifted her suitcase from the bed and put it on the floor. She dragged the carry-ons as she exited the room.

Peter followed her outside. As soon as he saw the new red Chevrolet Camaro parked in the driveway, his eyes almost left their sockets – cartoon style. “What was wrong with your perfectly normal car?”

Janie just placed her suitcases in the trunk and shut it. The backseat was full of photo albums, DVDs and CDs.

“Do you have any savings left at all? And why are you still traveling like it’s the 90s?”

Janie smirked at the question. Peter looked like he might have a heart attack soon. She got in the car and closed the door. She took out what looked like a brand-new phone from her bag, gestured him to call her and drove away.

Peter frowned, then instinctively fished out his phone to test his theory. He dialed Janie’s number. No longer in use.

*

Janie sped away in her convertible. Her car’s speakers blasted AC/DC’s Highway to Hell for good measure. She smiled as she mouthed the lyrics, ironically feeling like she was escaping hell.

*

Janie looked out of the window of her new fourth-story apartment. She could see the beach down the road. On quieter days, she bet she could hear the waves splashing on the shore.

The neighborhood was stunning with just enough colorful buildings. Not too crowded. The tallest ones had five or six floors at the most, giving everyone space to breathe.

The inhabitants were intent on making the most of the beach. People who lived here weren’t exactly rich, but they didn’t have money problems either. Not that Janie cared about that. It would just be nice to hit Peter with the facts when he started nagging that she’d downgraded her life somehow.

*

A couple of hours later, Janie sat on her sofa and took in her spacious two-bedroom apartment. It was modern and vibrant without being too quirky. It was completely her. She had only a few boxes left to unpack. She smiled to herself, dialed her mom on her cell and left a message.

“Hi, mom. Just calling to say I’m almost settled. This place is amazing. Remember, you can’t give this number to Peter. Or my address. Not yet.”

She hung up and dialed Greg. Got his voicemail.

“Hey! You were right. This place is something else. Thanks for everything. Let me know when you want to meet up.”

*

Past midnight, Janie was sound asleep in her bed. Suddenly, loud hardcore metal music with brutal vocals blasted from downstairs and jolted her awake.

“What the hell?” she yelled and tried to go back to sleep. She buried her head in her pillow. The music continued. Frustrated, she took her MP3 player from her top night table drawer. She put her earphones on. Before she could push play, she heard the loud crack of a gunshot. Then another.

Shaking off her initial panic, Janie dialed 911.

*******

 

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Novel Cover Reveal and Blurb: A Change Would Do You Good

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My second novel launch is on the way!

In this post, I’ll reveal the cover and the blurb. Soon, I’ll be back with another post featuring the first chapter.

The novel is called A Change Would Do You Good, and it’s a romcom drama set in California. The first couple of scenes take place in LA, and then the protagonist moves to San Diego.

Enjoy!

 

 

A Change Would Do You Good Novel Blurb

Janie desperately needs a change, and she needs it yesterday.

Ever since her boyfriend died and her best friends moved to Canada, she’s been lost and unable to enjoy life.
So she gives her life a complete makeover. Her new job and apartment are great, but her colorful neighbors will be a challenge to get used to.
Michelle is agoraphobic, and her car crash-happy son Ian is obsessed with curing his mom.
Part-time model/fashion designer Ben seems to be competing for the worst boyfriend award.
Ben’s miserable girlfriend Linda hates her career and relationship.
Goth metal chick Ashley loves drugs, guns, and weird parties.
Lackluster cops Sam and Tom are after a more exciting life.
Luckily Janie has also met Greg, a handsome therapist she instantly bonds with. And her downstairs neighbor Kevin is a pro-surfer with the looks of a Norse god.
With all the antics and chaos going on, only one thing is certain. Her neighbors will provide her with more distraction and change than she was ever ready for, including an epic romance.
***
Stay tuned for the first chapter! 🙂

How to Decide Which Writing Advice to Follow (and Which Writing Books & Courses to Buy)

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  • Please note that this post might contain affiliate links.

There is a lot of writing advice out there. Some are free, some paid. And they all take time to study and implement.

For the sake of clarity, by writing, I mean both fiction and non-fiction. And the term writing advice includes both the craft and the business (marketing, administration, selling, etc.) side of things.

You can speed up the learning process by buying books and courses, but it still takes time to study and implement the advice from your purchases.

Luckily, this article will help you answer the questions:

“How can I decide which writing books and courses to buy?”

“Which writing courses should I take?”

To decide which writer’s advice (and educational products) can work best and most for you, you need to look at four things.

– The Writer’s Professional Experience

You probably wouldn’t benefit from a writer’s points on self-publishing if she never self-published.

Likewise, you can’t likely learn much from a writer about magazine writing if he never wrote for magazines.

But you don’t need the advice-giver to be a six-figure writer if your immediate (and viable) goal is to make your first sale.

You get the idea.

Before taking them up on their offers and tips, ask:

“Has this writer accomplished/tried/experienced what they are talking about?”

If they have, you might listen to them.

Why “might” and not “should?”

There are two other factors you need to consider before jumping in.

Sometimes, their experience is enough. Especially if the author is generously giving away this information for free.

But often, their success alone won’t tell you enough on whether their writing advice is applicable for you.

Let me explain this in the next section.

– The Writer’s Personal life

“But, Pinar, how the hell is a writer’s personal life relevant?” you might ask.

Take productivity tips.

A lot of successful writers talk about how they get up 2-3 hours before work (or everyone else in the house get up) and write.

This is a valid (and sometimes the only useful) strategy if you are married with kids, for instance. Also, it probably helps if you are a morning person.

Because waking up 2-3 earlier than anyone else usually amounts to waking up at 5 am or before.

John Grisham did this when he was writing his first book, A Time to Kill. He worked as a lawyer, so before work was the best (if not the only) time to work on his novel.

But I won’t take this advice despite Grisham being immensely successful and my favorite author. There are three reasons:

  • I don’t have a full-time office job. Writing is my full-time job/career.
  • I am not a morning person. (This is more about personality, but still.)
  • I am single.

There is no sound reason for me to get up so early. In fact, doing so would negatively impact my productivity and the quality of my work.

Because I don’t have kids, I can find quiet whenever I want.

The only time I am up at 5 and doing something is when I have an early flight. And that early flight was booked because I didn’t have a choice. Early flights are usually cheaper, and you get more daytime when you don’t have a long vacation ahead.

I did it enough times now that I can function enough to get a cup of coffee before my flight and just get to my destination. That’s it.

Don’t expect me to write anything – not even a shitty first draft.

But if you can function in the morning, this is good advice.

If you have kids and this is the only time you can carve for your writing, this is invaluable wisdom.

You should be able to adjust the advice to make it work for you.

So yes, a writer’s personal life matters in this sense.

Another example is health issues. Yes, being single and without children helps my productivity. But you know what hinders it? Health problems.

I have many, and I wrote about it in detail in the post A Love Letter to All Freelancers with a Health Condition.

I read this excellent book on becoming a six-figure author by Tom Corson-Knowles, Secrets of the Six-Figure Author. But not all of his advice is applicable.

For instance, there’s a section he calls work-life balance a load of crap (to paraphrase), and I agree! He talks about how some days might be just work and some just family and how that’s fine.

But he also talks about this guy who achieved amazing success by working like 16-hour days for 5 years. And no matter how much I love my work, that isn’t a feasible thing to do for me.

I think that’s advice for ultra-healthy people who don’t suffer from sleep issues. If you are one of those rare souls who sleep for four hours and wake up totally refreshed, you could try pulling one of those days to see how it fits.

But I can’t fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I wake up during the night, and sometimes it takes a while to get back to my dreams. And even 8 hours isn’t enough for me, because my sleep is difficult and fractured.

I also have to eat and take some breaks during the day. I have never pulled, and I suspect I’ll never will pull, a 16-hour workday, and I’m fine with that. (I strongly doubt people can get a lot of quality output from such days, especially if done regularly.)

But I’m no Tim Ferriss, either. He is one of my favorite bloggers and non-fiction authors. I loved his The Four-Hour Work Week.

However, I read it to make my writing business more efficient. Not to actually only work for four hours a week! Because I love my work. If I can keep going, I will. It is fun!

(For perspective on the balance of things, I do take time off. And there are days I don’t really work, so don’t worry. 🙂

Another advice I can’t yet take from Corson-Knowles’ book is to “get an A-team for my book.”

Now, this is brilliant advice, and it’s backed by many other successful authors as well.

Since no one is skilled at everything, you can’t produce an amazing book and rock your marketing and manage your administration efficiently all on your own.

But hiring the right people to work with you on your publishing journey is expensive.

Formatting can cost money. You definitely need to hire a cover designer if you’re not a graphic design whiz yourself. You might need to hire an editor. You might need a proofreader. You might need a web designer. You might need a virtual assistant.

You get where I am going this.

If you don’t already have money saved up or have a constant influx of cash coming from your other work, this is not feasible for a writer/self-publisher who is just starting out.

It’s good to keep in mind for the near future.

But for now, if you can’t delegate, you’ll be wise to prioritize. I recommend hiring a cover designer. You might choose to hire someone to edit if editing isn’t your strong suit while you are good at design.

So details about your life and the details of the advice-giver’s life matters.

One final example:

When you don’t have an email list of thousands of subscribers, the first marketing advice you need to implement isn’t marketing to your list. It’s to try and grow that list.

On the flip side, if someone on a shoe-string budget and a small/no email list became a bestseller, you might want to listen to their strategies first when you are starting out without an excessive budget.

– The Writer’s Personality & Taste

a. Personality

I love reading about habits so I can improve my life. So far, my top 3 are: (I haven’t included the books’ subtitles for the sake of brevity.)

Gretchen Rubin’s book’s my absolute favorite among the three, however.

Because when talking about how to change/improve/ditch your habits, she writes through the lens of 4 distinct personality types. These are Obliger, Upholder, Questioner, Rebel. (She calls them tendencies, and has written a book on them as well.)

According to the book Better than Before, a Questioner meets inner expectations, not outer ones.

A rebel resists both inner and outer expectations. They live for freedom, and they want to make their own choices.

I’m a Rebel with Questioner tendencies. This mean you need to tell me the why of things. I also tend to question rules and routines set by other people, and sometimes even myself.

So keeping my personality type in mind, consider the ubiquitous writing advice of “get an accountability partner.”

Remember, I resist outer expectations. And I tend to resist inner ones too.

What are the odds my productivity will hit the roof when I get an accountability buddy?

I don’t care that you see my progress or not. I don’t really care that I told you I would write 1000 words that day, but I couldn’t for some reason. I care that I didn’t write efficiently, not that I told you about it.

I work best (and I am at my happiness) when I keep my promises to myself.

On the other hand, let’s take Obliger and Upholder.

Upholder meets both inner and outer expectations. Obliger meets outer expectations but resists inner ones. If you are an Obliger, an accountability partner might work wonders in helping you achieve your writing goals!

And this is why you need to keep your personality in mind when you are thinking about which advice to follow and why.

This will also enlighten you about why certain tips didn’t work for you.

Your success depends on it.

b. Taste.

For a while, I didn’t think I could write a novel. My father’s library mostly consisted of literary authors in love with their own voice and narrative abilities. You know the kind with many awards and regarded as national treasures who describe a tree for 10 pages… just because?

Luckily, I later discovered genre fiction in middle school. I found that I am a plot person. Someone who loves to read/write stuff where authors don’t shove down irrelevant details down my throat.

Same goes with travel writing. I thought I could never write a travel piece because many of the travel pieces I stumbled upon read like pages from literary novels. Full of sensory details woven in a way I don’t like to read, because I don’t see/notice those things.

I will notice and comment on how gorgeous a flower is. I’m not going to write a love poem for it.

You get the idea.

This doesn’t mean that kind of writing is bad. It just means it’s not my style. It’s not who I am.

And just like your personality and taste play a big part in what kind of writing path you forge, it should also dictate who you should learn from.

I mean the relevant stuff, of course.

Just because I’m a glam metal fan doesn’t mean I can’t learn from a writer who is into classical music. 🙂 But it does mean I probably won’t be listening to classical music to get in the mood when I write.

Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit provides a great background on the science and research of habits in a fun way. It also features true stories of people who changed their habits for the better.

James Clear’s Atomic Habits is ground-breaking as it shows how tiny changes in behavior lead to significant results in the long run. He also has an inspiring blog and email newsletter.

But if you’ve always wanted to change, read book after book and still failed to see tips that work for you, I recommend starting with Gretchen Rubin’s.

And remember, if you learn how to improve yourself in one area based on who you are, you can do it in all areas.

Your future writer self will thank you for it.

-The Time(liness) of the Advice 

Watch out for when the writer gave the advice.

Some tips are evergreen. It doesn’t matter if the writer said it today, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, or all the way back in 1892.

For instance:

“To become a good writer, you need to read.”

This has been and will always be true.

or

“Keep something that you can save your ideas in/with at all times.”

It doesn’t matter if it’s a pen and paper or your smartphone. But you don’t want to lose precious ideas.

On the other hand, when we are talking about trends and what works now, it’s wise to check if the same tips are still working.

*

There you go. Four areas to watch out for when you are taking writing advice and investing in educational material.

How do you decide on which writing advice to follow?

 

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